LTR – is it Better Than NSA?

LTR stands for long-term relationship. Anyone who has tried to use craigslist’s personals for relationships, or any other dating board, must have come across that abbreviation. Another prominent acronym used on craigslist is NSA, which stands for no-strings-attached. Welcome to the world on Internet dating. Well, we will actually do better on True Love Singles.

Regardless, these acronyms are used by people to identify their intent in seeking a new relationship. What does that mean? Well, let’s say you put yourself up on the personals board of craigslist but you do not want to be contacted by fly-by-nights seeking a one-night-stand. Space for words, like on Twitter, is limited on these boards, and so you use an acronym to indicate your intent: in this case LTR – you are interested in a long-term relationship. Yes, you’ll find plenty of people who put themselves up (or down if you enjoy being a little condescending) as NSA.

The point of all of this is that people looking for new relationships do have intents. No everyone is looking for a long-term relationship. We already explained about the use of code NSA, or no-strings-attached. However, NSA actually does not speak to the duration of the relationship – whether it is short-term or something else. It speaks more to the lack of any commitment to the relationship or other person’s well-being. While such a NSA relationship seems aloof and open-ended, it might go on for quite a while – so long as it is consented to by both partners!

However, there is a reason that no-strings-attached relationships do not last that long. Even after a single night of an NSA relationship, the feelings between the two participants are rarely just the same. Strings grow quickly. While men seem to be able to easily walk away from short-term affairs, we believe that women are less cold-hearted and attach a lot quicker. But we’ve seen it the other way around as well. Granted, no-strings-attached relationships may grow into bona fide long-term relationships. But why take chances?

So, how about LTR? Is duration (long-term) all there is to in terms of what the acronym covers? On it’s face, yes. But we all know that there is more to it. LTR also implies that a commitment to mutual well-being over time is desired by the posting person. LTR implies that the posting person not only wants a relationship for as long as it is pleasurable, but a relationship that lasts through thick and thin, through ups and downs. Most people, we argue, seek intimate partners who reliably have their back over time. And in turn, they are prepared to reciprocate.

But even long-term relationships are not all the same. Just imagine that you are married to a fireman. He says that he loves you more than anything in the world, but by tomorrow he might feel compelled to run into a burning house to save an elderly person – only to die in the fire. There is a natural rivalry between our unquenchable longing for intimacy and our believes in the rewards of sacrifice. This rivalry does not only play out among people working in emergency services, but also among people in the military and the police. Surprisingly, it may play out among dedicated people of faith as well. “I do have your back, darling, but when I feel God’s calling, I must be gone.”

So, are you prepared for the intricacies of a long-term relationship? At least you now can talk about it with that promising Single you found on this site. In terms of overall benefits provided to mankind, long-term relationships have probably outdone no-strings-attached relationships by more than a wide margin. Just think about how children would make it, or how you would have made it, in a world overcome by NSA.

In the olden days, people had kids as a sort of life insurance, as in “who will take care of me when I am old?”. Nowadays, some of the elderly have substantial savings, or get pensions on top of social security benefits, and just pay and commit themselves into assisted living care homes. Fact is that people in developed nations have fewer kids: they are less needed and have become more expensive to raise.

Fortunately, deeper-seated instincts for having children remain strong and probably will never go away. Every kid is counting on mom and dad to stay together. More likely, kids probably cannot even conceive of what no-strings-attached relationships are about.

True Love Singles is a courtship site for people who are interested in long-term relationships. We do not pander to those lacking a desire for commitment to mutual benefit over the long run.

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